Rogue Knits

The yarn IS EVIL.

No, I’m not kidding.

Let me tell you a bit of history before I delve right in.

Our local Goodwill, every year, has a megahuge craft sale. They horde donated craft supplies for about 8 months out of the year, and then stick em on a huge table and mark everything for way below what it should be.

This past Friday & Saturday was that craft sale.
So Friday morning, I woke up, 9:30 AM, got myself cleaned up and dressed, and we were all off.

Now, I’m one of those people that stores all my yarn in one of those huge 40 gallon sterilite totes/tubs/boxes with a lid. Prior to the sale, it was MAYBE halfway full.

Now I have to sit on it to get the handles to snap on to the lid.

Yeah. Huge amounts of yarn now.

So all of Saturday was spent either:
A) surfing ravelry for a pattern to use some of said yarn OR
B) Fondling said yarn because it is so yummylicious.

And after all that surfing (8+ hours of looking at socks, sweaters and shawls) I have come to the conclusion that yarn has mind control powers.
EVIL mind control powers. In fact, I believe that one day everyone will pick up the craft, and then buy so much yarn that they will be forced to go into debt. Yarn will destroy the economy (worse than it is.). Watch and see. You’ll be sorry you didn’t listen to me. This is why you should buy your yarn second hand. It’s cheaper this way, and you can often find discontinued yarns. They’re powers are diminished because they have been sitting around so long.

I’m also of the opinion that each yarn has personality.

For example, let’s delve through the yarn I bought on Friday.

First up we have 2 skeins of “Nocturne”, a mohair/poly blend. These two are the party girl twins. The first to the party and last to leave, they can outdrink even the most seasoned motorcycle riders, and they are always the first to take their tops off. They shout at me from the stash, screaming about what losers are in there with them, and won’t I take them out so we can have some FUN!

Next we have the hostess of said party. This was in a random plastic bag, with a note on what the fiber content was. Mohair, wool, and poly slub. It’s double stranded. It’s soft and cuddly, but still very wild in it’s own right.

This one I think is like the playboy bunny of the yarn world. Pretty to look at, kind of fun to play with, but ultimately it just wants to sit there and look pretty. It’s 100% rayon, and kind of rough to the touch. I thought it was wool at first. Its kind of like fake boobies in that manner. You think they are real at first…This one also had no label or anything, so I’m considering it naked. See? Playboy bunny. Also, I think it’s kind of drunk and needs something to hold it up. Blonde Bimbo anyone?

These two bags of yarn are the “Team Players”. Or rather, the teams, maybe? They are both 100% Acrylic (steroids, anyone?), and quite soft to the touch. The purple one is in between sport and worsted (DK weight?). It said worsted on the packaging, but the WPI is wrong, and it’s quite thin. Hmm. Yuhp. This yarn was on steroids.
The blue is sportweight, and VERY soft and S-T-R-E-T-C-H-Y. Kind of like the Olympic gymnastics team.

Ahhh..here we go. Good old worsted weight virgin wool. This is the grandma of the group. Content to be by herself, surrounded by everyone else who has things to do, places to be. She’s seen it all, and knows how to just sit back and relax and enjoy life right in that moment. In a classic color, too. Nothing fancy, just nice, soft, and always there for you. I wish MY grandma was like that when she was alive.

More wool, this time it’s 80% Acrylic, 10% wool. Looks like grandma had some work done. I akin this one to Joan Rivers. (“Too much surgery often results in Joan Rivers.” – Dr. Wooldor, “Drawn Together”)
It’s still quite nice and soft and a pleasure to work with. This is earmarked for a pair of hiking socks. Nice thick squishy hiking socks.

Ahhh Yarn Bee. I love and Hate yarn bee yarns. Yarn Bee is Hobby Lobby’s house brand. Every one of them is acrylic, most of it with slubs, metallic threads, and eyelashes. Which is fine in its own right as trimming, but not as a WHOLE GARMENT (*couch LIONBRAND cough*). This one seems to have come out all right. I think all the other, slubby fakey yarns made fun of it in the store, and it just packed it’s bags and left. It’s VERY soft and cuddly, still acrylic, but not “fakey” acrylic.

These three skeins of yarn were in the same bag. They are baby yarns, and I think they were holding a nanny convention in there. Talking about babies and changing diapers and keeping them warm on cold, rainy nights. Secretly, I think were plotting how, through a mother’s work of knitting or crocheting a garment for her baby, they might secretly plant the want and desire for more yarn into the baby’s brain while it is sleeping. Yes, I’m on to you, Evil yarns! Do not try to pull the wool over my eyes!
(errr..Acrylic over my eyes?)

These two are hanging out together. Twins, but not quite. “Saucy” is 100% mercerized cotton yarn. What do you do with cotton yarn? You put it to work, because cotton is the workhorse of the yarn community. YEE HAW! SCRUB THEM DISHES, SAUCY TWINS!

And then of course, you have the lowly crochet thread. I bought 10 skeins of the stuff (some of it only partial skeins). This stuff isn’t evil. It doesn’t plant a desire in your heart like no other to spend copius amounts of money on it. Of course that could be because I’ve never seen a skein of crochet thread that cost over 2 dollars.

Although I’m trying to figure out WHY I bought 3 skeins of white cotton thread, and a whole bunch of pink stuff. Seriously. I hate pink. Maybe it’s cus the pink is shiiiinnnyyyy…? AHA. There it is. Crochet thread is shiny. The yarn employs the crochet thread so that people who do both crafts will go doubly in debt, thereby taking over the economy twice as fast!

That’s only some of the yarn I bought. Plus I got at least 12 pairs of needles, and about 7 crochet hooks as well. Oh and a whole bunch of vintage patterns.

CURSE YOU MIND CONTROLLING HOBBY!

Now..the question is…what to DO with it all…

(Also, this post was 4 pages long, in word. Dude. Wtf?)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an obsession with food. Specifically, anything sweet.
Aparrantly there are hordes of other knitters & Crocheters who enjoy food as much as I do.
A quick search of “Food” on Ravelry’s pattern search page, comes up with 9 pages. That’s 165 patterns.
And Thats just a fraction. What about those patterns that people just sort of make up as they go along?

Theres Crocheted and Knitted Cupcakes, Ice Cream, Pie, Cake..The list goes on. I’ve even found crocheted eggs & Bacon, Waffles, Lobster, and a Chocolate Easter Bunny.

Yes, there is no doubt that knitters & Crocheters have an obsession with food of all kinds.

But what about when you go past the literal and just take themes, like colors (such as pink, brown and white for neopolitan..), or they chart in pictures, rather than imitating the food itself in what they create.

Searching through my stash about a week ago I came across a skein of super light green yarn, and dark brown yarn. My first thought was:
Mint Chocolate Chip.

So I grabbed some random needles, and cast on, double stranded (on 10.5s). My idea was for a striped stocking cap. Relatively loose fitting, kind of long…

Halfway thorugh the hat, the following conversation ensued:
Me: *holds up peice of flat knitting* What do you think?
Dad: *thinks for a minute* Mint Chocolate?
Me: EXACTLY!

This hat is knitted double stranded, flat, on two needles (size 10.5). If you want the pattern, let me know and I’ll write it up. (provided I can remember what the hell I did…). It took me about 5 days to knit up, and that was only working on it 1-2 hours a day. If you bust ass on friday, you can wear it to school Monday.

This hat is slightly too big for my head (I have to bobby pin it my hair) but it’s large enough to stick my hair IN (On days I’m feeling particularly jewish & Halachic), so it’s good if your religion requires you to cover yoru hair, but a scarf is too fiddly.

Now introducing: The Mint Chocolate Hat.

Comments? Bueller? Bueller?

Another post in as many days. What’s the world coming to?!

Amongst all the summer cleaning, stash organising, preperations for my birthday, and half finished projects, I finally managed to force myself to sit down and FINISH something that required FINISHING. Like sewing and weaving in ends and stuff. Wanna seeee? You know you do.
You like looking at knitting porn, don’t you, dirty reader? Yeah. You like it.

Sorry, been rereading DomiKnitrix. Okay?

This is my new purse.

It’s a bit small for my tastes, so I have to pare down what I normally carry. Blegh. I dun like that. >.<

I got the pattern from a Caron Pamphlet last year, and I’ve been waiting till my knitting skills were up to par with the pattern. The 61″ of seed stitch was a bit much, and thats what held up the process for so long. Suckage.

I also made the strap a bit shorter, becuase A) I’m short and B) I ran out of yarn. Yuh.

Also, here’s a sneak peak at the White Nights scarf that I’m knitting:

The yarn is a discontinued one, Berella BIG. I got two skeins of it from the thrift store. 3/4 of the first skein was used for a hat, which may have to be frogged (I never wear it anyway) for the sake of the scarf, which is for a very good friend of mine. This is knit on size 15’s, by the way.

While summer cleaning, I came across the following:
2 hanks of virgin wool (maroon and navy blue)
1 set of size 9 needles that I didn’t even know I HAD
1 set of size 10.5, again I didn’t know I had.
a single size 8 needle. I continue cleaning tomorrow, I might find the second. If not, this makes a god spare for wearing in my hair, holding stitches, or stirring my coffee.

Also, I’ve lost my size 13s again, and I don’t know where the fuck they went, becuase I haven’t used them in over a year. wtf?

I also finished the first strip of the counterpane for the lapghan I’m making for *CENSORED*. Yeah. Becuase she’s sexay and deserving of an awesome lapghan, bitches. Anyone who wants to help me in this endeavor, let me know. I’m taking 6″ x 6″ squares for it.

The Goodwill Craft Sale is on the 13th of this month. Lets hope I have money. Everythign is aroudn 50% off, and they have a room stacked from floor to ceiling with awesome stuffage. Lets hope I can score pwnage.

So yeah. There you have it, for tonight.

Forgot to add: Frogged the old swamp witch (Stormy Waters. Eugh. Eww. Crapily done.) and wound the yarn (all four strands together) into 3 center pull skeins. I have no clue what to do with it..but I’m sure I’ll figure out something.

A question from the SCT (Standardised Crafting Test).

Is a person who Knits AND Crochets considered -
A) Bicraftual
B) Ambicraftous
C) A Swinger
Discuss.

On the Needles:
Yarn Vomit Scarf
White Nights Scarf
Jayne Hat

On the Hooks
Baby Chicken Sweater (for a doll)
Star Wars Filet
Family Filet
Winter Warmer Afghan

Mood: Creative

Music: Panic! at the Disco - There’s A Reason These Tables Are Numbered..

So, I Less Than Three stuff.

For those of you who don’t understand I present to you the following.

<3

Is a heart, yes? Well, when you break it down, it is the “Less Than” symbol and number 3.

So when you say “I <3 Nerds.”

You could phrase it “I Less - Than- Three Nerds.”

And you would show your true nerdiness.

So the hat I’m knitting (The 3rd Eye Chullo from the book “Knit Wit” by Amy Singer) is supposed ot have an embroidered eye on it.

But I don’t want an eye. I want to put “Less- Than- Three.” on it. Becuase I AM A NERD.

K?

I’ll post pictures when I’m done with it (which should be sometime in the next few hours.).