Yeah, me too.

It’s a cheaters moebius, made by knitting a strip then putting a twist in before sewing it up. It never lays right. It fights me, and it looks horrible. So the moebius and me had a litttttle talk over a strawberry daiquiri.

It went something like this:

Moebius: I never wanted to be a cowl, bitch.

Me: Well, tough titties. You are.

Moebius: I wanted to be a hat.

Me: – raised eyebrow- A hat?

Moebius: Yeah, A hat. And you have the pattern on your fancy thingamabobby that holds all your PDF patterns.

 Me: Oh! Dude your so getting frogged now.

Moebius: Uhh…wait..no need for a rash decision….

Me: Nope, too late.. RIPIT!

And so now, that orange ball of beautiful bulky alpaca and wool is now going to become a Russian Princess in Exile. I’ve been eyeballing this pattern for years, just never got up the gumption (or yarn) to knit it. So, here is a picture of what it looks like right now – And that’s after ripping the first 7 rows because My befuddled coffee-deprived brain decided that B was F, and that F was B – which resulted in cabled crossings being done the wrong direction.

So after throwing it against the wall (hint: It’s more satisfying to throw a bulky weight project against the wall, than it is to throw a cobweb weight project against the wall.), ripping it out, and starting again, I’m doing a little better.

 Not much better, because now I can’t tell that I did any cables at all.. And by the way.. Who’s bloody idea was it to START OFF WITH CABLES ON THE ROW DIRECTLY AFTER THE CAST ON?!?!?!

Screw it man, I’m doin’ it anyway. Maybe it will sort it itself out in the end. I hope. The yarn is pretty epic, so even if it’s doesn’t come out like I want it to, it’ll still be warm. (FYI – it’s still Blue Sky Alpaca Bulky, and it only cost me $0.50/hank, at goodwill. )

_____

They released the needle & yarn requirements for the Mystery 220 for February. There are 4 mysteries running this coming month, I’ve chosen Mystery # 4. It’s done in worsted yarn, on size 8 needles.

Apparently, I will need a set of straights, and a set of DPNs. I’m guessing it will be a hat, but only time will tell. (As a side note, I guessed early on that last month’s mystery would be a curly scarf. I was right.) So here’s the yarn I’ve selected – I’ve had it in my stash for ages.

It’s a wool/mohair/acrylic blend with a slow secondary color change. 

 For those of you who are interested, the group is called Mystery 220 (on ravelry), and it is AWESOME. And now I have to go fight with this bulky yarn some more. *whipcrack*

Yup, it’s a super-duper curly awesome scarf. Basically, you cast on an amount of stitches to equal the length of the scarf, and then double them every 4-6 rows.

The yarn is Hot Socks Print, 75% wool / 25% nylon. I’ll get some better pics in the daytime..at some point. I kind of wish we would get some snow so I could get good pics of my knitwear.

That was the mystery for the month of January. I’m still tryign to pick my yarn for February’s mystery…and which mystery to knit! I’m thinking mystery #4…but I don’t know for sure! These things are so so so exciting!

And now, back to your regularly scheduled free pattern Friday.

January 23 is Chinese new year! And this year is The Year of the Dragon – my year!

So, this weeks free pattern is the Year of the Dragon Dishcloth. I suggest making it in a bright red yarn (which is exactly what I’m going to do, if I get around to it. )

Enjoy!　

And also, here is a typo for your weekend. How exactly does one renew a vowel?

(psst – shameless plug, again, for my ‘Dystopia’ hat pattern, found directly to the right hand side of your screen.

Also, be sure to check out Radio Cult – An awesome band that is guaranteed to play some kind of music you enjoy. )

I have a funny story about this ‘pattern’ – which is actually more of a tutorial. A good friend of mine is the lead singer for a band that I love, and she ALWAYS has killer hair accessories. Like these:

And these:

Just before Horror Weekend 2011, I went shopping for like a week to try and find some. I went to at least 17 stores looking for ANYTHING like what she normally wears. Finally, I got fed up and just asked her “Hey, where the frak do you find those?”

Her response?

“I make em!”

To which my head proceeded to meet my desk repeatedly, which looked something like this when I was done:

Fkigkuygfuyfjuhfjgfjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

(that last bit is where I just laid there and cried softly.)

Because I had spent a week of my life looking for something that wasn’t mass-produced.

So, I did a quick google search, and this great website came up. The following is a link to my favorite tutorial:

How to Make “Korker” Bows

Which I’m going to try this week at some point, as soon as I get a hot glue gun..

Because for all my craftiness, I don’t own one. WTF is up with that?

Anyway, if they come out well, I intend on making several sets (Bambi, I have my eye on some ribbon that I saw with cats on it!), just because I frakkin’ can!

So, there ya go, That’s all the free patterns I’m giving you for today. Enjoy them, and don’t forget to visit the two new websites I’ve banner-linked on the right hand side of this page.

(Also, my new pattern is still for sale. It’s not going anywhere. It’ sonly $2, and the money will go to getting my ass to ConNooga. Spare some change for the poor nerdy chick?)

(Also also, I’ve put up some new links on the right hand side of your screen – Please be sure to visit them as they are all awesome, I promise!)

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I’m not knitting for you. Or your sister. Or your brother, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, son, daughter, or one eyed one horned purple people eater.

I’m not even knitting for your cat.

ME.

And maybe those I want to knit for.

But that’s all, I swear!

I want to devote myself to learning new techniques, making things for the fair and just enjoying knitting in general again.

So, I joined two groups on ravelry.

The first is a Designers Challenge. Each month they give you what you have to make, what you are to be inspired by, and a technique to use. I’m not doing it this month because I’m still sore. But watch out in the future- I see this year holding lots new patterns for all you folks to knit and enjoy.

The other group is called “Mystery 220″. Each month has 2-3 mysteries that you can knit, using 220 yards of yarn or less. I love it, because I tend to only buy 1-2 skeins at a time.

The current ones I’m participating in for this month is a fingering weight (195 yards – 1 skein of sock yarn.), and a super bulky weight (which starts on Friday the 13^th.

The best part is: You don’t even KNOW what you knitting, unlike those mystery sock or shawl KALs, where you know what the end result will be.

And the only pic I can give you is this one:

Because I’m not allowed to expose what the mystery might be. The Mystery police might arrest me and take my DPNs away.

NOT THE DPNS! NOOOOOO!

Aside from that, still working on the skittles socks. And that’s it.

So, is anyone else thinking about this years Knitting Olympics yet? What about you’re local county fair?

(Dontcha hate me for bringing it up now?)

We were lucky this New Year’s eve; it was a little on the cold side, but nothing too crazy. Not like that year that we absolutely froze while watching the ball drop. And at least it was cool-ish – not at all like those 2 years where it was nearly 50 degrees at midnight. I was able to get by with jeans and a light jacket.

(Yep, that’s me and my mom – outside Mellow Mushroom in gatlinburg. We’re awesome like that. )

I’m spending time (while staying awake, keeping the fire going to combat the cold in our tiny, underground house.) reviewing this past year in knitting & spinning. I designed one new pattern, and successfully knitted only about 6 items. A fair few of those were for the holidays. But not this hat that I knitted in about 11 hours for dad:

 As for those fingerless mittens I was crying about in my last post…they were bad. They got unceremoniously yanked from the needles and shoved in a dark corner of my stash reserved for small ends of skeins and 1970s acrylics. You know you were bad, dear fingerless mittens. You can just stay there for the next…uhm…however long.

(Beauty and the beast. The coffee being beautiful, and those mitts…well..you know the rest..)

 I did manage to finish some giftmas gifts. Like 2 pair of mitten s- one for my 2-year-old niece, and one for my 4-year-old nephew:

And a hat for my (normally very receptive to handmade knitted items) uncle, which was quickly overshadowed by a COFFEEPOT. To be fair, the coffeepot was a Keurig, but still…

And then, once I finished with those three gifts, I got very fidgety, because I literally had nothing on the needles. So I whipped these up in 3 days.

These are my babies. I’m in love with them. The teal yarn is Stitch Nation’s Bamboo Ewe, and the Green is Moda Dea (R.I.P.) Silk N’ Wool Blend.

I wore them on New Years eve, and they kept me quite warm while headbanging and doing the chicken dance. The following picture does not include the mittens, but it was taken on new years eve, with my daddy, in a crowd of about 20,000 people.

Speaking of Gifts, I have to thank a very nice lady on Ravelry- Justnancy – who sent me 2 sets of ADDI FRICKIN’ TURBOS for a Hanukkah gift. there was also a set of hiya Hiya DPNs, in a 4″ length – just knitting fingers on gloves & mittens! How cool is that?!

And now, I have these babies (I’m sorry or the TERRIBLE picture – lighting is not so great in this house.) Which is a pair of plain(ish) socks in “Hot Socks” – which is a 75/25 virgin wool/nylon blend.

I’m calling them “Skittles” because they are in rainbow colors. They are sort of my background project right now – but they are the only thing on the needles at the moment, so I’m working (not!) diligently on them (at all).

 Technically I do still have the Fair Isle Mittens of doom on the needles, but I put them down for a long winters nap (for a year or two.). I might finish them in time for the fair this year, though, just because I can (HA! Like that will happen!)

So anyway, I decided that this year I will ONLY be doing selfish knitting. I will knit what I want, for who I want, and not for any other reason besides “I want to.” I’m sick and tired of people conning me into knitting stuff for them that I get no enjoyment from. Like those fingerless mittens.

 I joined a mystery sock KAL for this year, from the Knitter’s Brewing Company. I can’t afford a sock kit from them, but I can knit it from stash yarn. I’m thinking that I’ll be using that one skein of Sock Ease that I’ve had in my stash for..oh..a few years…

 So, I’m going to head back to my mindless pattern downloading (free PDF’s are made of win) and waiting until about 3 AM when dad gets up to watch the fire and make sure the house stays warm. I hope you all had a happy New Year, and get your asses back to bed, don’t you have work in the morning?!

(And if you are still up and have $2 to spare, wy dont you click that little link to the right and buy my new pattern? It’s called “Dystopia” – and is for bulky yarn and size 10-10.5 needles. It’s a quick knit, and will keep you warm for the rest of the winter season. )

Try it with knitting some time. It’s not NEARLY as satisfying as say, a fragile china figurine of a sad hobo clown.

That’s right, you –know- what you did wrong. You just sit there, Next to the spilled molasses, and think about what a pain in the ass you’ve been.

Let me set the scene for you –

First, I cast on my stitches. That’s –really- a no brainer. Then, I knit my ribbing, which is what you see above. Then, I carefully chose a stitch pattern, and knitted the first 4 rounds, as well as starting the thumb gusset.

See? I can multitask. Although, I’ve knitted enough damned mittens and gloves to have it memorized by now.

And then, THE HORROR. I was 2 stitches short.

Well, crap. Frog it back to the ribbing, start again. Try it with a different stitch pattern.

This time, I was 2 stitches over.

Rip it again, rinse and repeat. Twice more.

And THAT’S when I tossed it against the wall.

Screw it. These will be plain-jane fingerless mittens. I think those damned gnomes are at it again, damn it.

And for all those of you who are being conspired against by the knitting fates, join in with me for just a moment of relaxation.

D’awwwww. Ain’t my Sugar so cyute?

EXTREEM CLOSE UP.

Also, as a side note, I updated my ‘info/about’ page, took down the ‘enter your local fair’ page, and will soon be scouring ravelry for photos for my vistor gallery.

It’s almost December.

And only 1-2 gifts on my list are done.

WHY DO I DO THIS EVERY YEAR?

List:

Lae Morae – (SENSORED)

Oriya – Little sweater(s), A copy of Grimm’s Grimmest (DONE)

Bella- Mittens (OR) Knitted DNA Model

Dillon – mittens & hat

Jazz – Messenger Bag (DONE)

Sparrow – (SENSORED)

Vicki – Felted Slippers

Don – Hat & Convert-a-mitts

Mom – ????

Dad – ???

My list is A LOT shorter than it normally is, and a lot of my stuff is going to be sewn or bought. I love you all, but I’m pressed for time this year.

(Ha! Like I’m not always pressed for time? PFFT!)

So what DID I get done?

Some stuff for me.

THAT’S RIGHT, BISHES, MIIIINE. ME. MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME.

(As a side note, this is why I NEVER get my Christmas/Yule/Hanukkah/saturnalia crap done. )

#1 –

Pattern – None. I just made it up.

Needles: US 17

Yarn: Blue Sky Bulky (50% Wool, 50% Alpaca)

#2 –

Pattern: None. I just made it up. This pattern might become a published one…

Needles – US 13

Yarn: My own handspun. 100% Finn wool, spun thick n thin.

#3 –

Pattern: Natalya

Needles – I don’t remember

Yarn – Some random tapestry style wool I picked up at goodwill…

Also, I’m trying to get one of my good friends to become co-authors with me on this blog. I’m thinking something along the lines of Mason Dixon knits….but that’s based on if my friend says yes or not.

So, on the last post, I mentioned knitting little rockstars. Well, I love the idea, but not the design. So that project is currently on hiatus.

So instead, I made some pretty great fingerless mittens.

Which I showed to a woman at work this past week.
And she came in the next day and said “I have something for you, but it comes with a favor.”
To which I said “Uhm…sure..okay.”
She presented me with 2 skeins of caron simply soft, and one skein of homespun. “This is for you.” She says.
“And the favor?” I responded.
“I’d like a set of fingerless mittens, with separate fingers, for when I walk my dogs.” She says, as we walk to my car to put the yarn inside.
“Sure. Do you want fliptops? And I won’t start them ‘till I finish this sweater for my cousin.” I said. And her eyes went REALLY big.
“Ohmyg-d. You can do fliptops? Yes!” she says, practically squeeing.
And then she says, “I know it’ll take less than a skein to make those, so you can just keep the rest as payment, because I’m kind of broke.”

Now, Normally, I wouldn’t do this for somebody. But:
A) She knows how to knit, but she does not knit, because she finds it incredibly boring. And
B) She is a very nice lady who had many religious discussions with me comparing Pentecostal Christianity and Judaism, which is one of my favorite debate subjects. And..
C) I needed the inspiration and a break form knitting baby/toddler stuff.

But first, I have to finish this sweater….

You see, There’s this band called Radio Cult. I’ve known them (personally, and no, I’m NOT a groupie – just a friend & fan) for about 5 years now (Has it been THAT long? Jeeezus!).
Recently, they played right down in Knoxville. It’s been about 2 years since they played here, and they had a decent turn out. I didn’t give mom & dad a choice in the matter, and we all trouped down to knoxville to see them.

It was a GREAT night. One of the best nights I can remember in my life, great. Between sets (Well…since they don’t have a set list, can they really play a set?) They came and sat with us. They were excited to see us there, AND I made dad buy me the last hoodie that they had. I’m all ready for winter already, damnit!

So, ever since them, I’ve felt creative…but not normal creative. I just haven’t been able to find the right outlet for my knitting creativity, even though I really WANT to knit.

And then, flipping through my copy of Stitch N Bitch Nation, I saw it:
Knit your own Rock Star.
The dolls are VERY plain, with simple embroidered face & yarn hair.

But the tall, skinny, Joey Ramone doll caught my attention. So I showed it to mom. Who promptly said:
“They have a pattern for a Ricky doll?”
And I got excited. Yeah…lengthen the sleeves on the shirt, convert the blue & red to black & white, change the pants to red….

And the Joan Jett doll could naturally be converted to Bambi Lynn, just remove the pants and substitute a skirt, change the hair…
Yea. This could totally work!

So, now you can wait for the next update..in which I show pictures of the in progress dolls. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(P.S. Now if I could find shiny red yarn to knit Ricky’s Pants…)
Also – Be sure to check our thier website: Http://www.Radiocult.com

Maybe after the fair. Which, actually, I did not prepare for.

So I was digging through my stash of completed but non-yet entered projects, at 2 in the morning… I ended up with several, but I mostly did a lot in photography.
Pictures from Niagara Falls, and from New Orleans mainly. Judging is tomorrow, so I will see on Friday how well I did.

Since the last post, I’ve gotten a semi-normal job. And by normal I mean I have a SCHEDULE. Which means, in theory, that I could schedule time to knit…right?

Or play videogames. Which is more cathartic after a long (four day…) week and a three day weekend to look forward to.

Did I mention it’s EVERY weekend?

Yeeeaaahhh. Please don’t kill me for being moar awesum than u.

 I’ll have to hide behind these people, who may or may not protect me. (No shameless plugging there. Noooooone at all. Did I mention their new album comes out soon? Well, it does… )

So, Right now I’m forcing myself to knit/crochet while surfing ravelry (oh yeah, I’m alive there again. It’s a major wtf for some people..), in the hopes that I’ll get some things done in time for the knoxville fair (which for some reason is holding my attention more than the jefferson fair…which is very odd.) and perhaps yule time.

I’m taking bets on how long this will last. My personal bet is about a week.

Also, I volunteered to knit a FULL LENGTH dr. who scarf for the charity auction at ConNooga next year. Someone kill me now please, before my brain explodeys.

P.S. I’m working on a new pattern, but you’ll HAVE to wait ‘till october to get it. It will also be my first pay-for pattern, and I’ll be pricing it at $1.00. It will be available on Ravelry, and direct through this blog.

’till next time, kiddos.